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I STRIVE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

SUGGEST INDIRECTLY, TALK CAUTIOUSLY

 Direct suggestion is like a double-edged sword.  
The ego of the receiver is often hurt, and the ego of the giver is also injured when his idea is rejected

Insult is further added to the injury if a dominant person loathes the direct suggestion. Please recall the Hitopdesha tale "The birds and the Shivering Monkeys"; the gist of which follows. 

Once some monkeys were shivering in the heavy rain and resultant cold, under a huge tree on the bank of a river. A kind hearted small bird suggested them to build homes and live comfortably. The monkeys turned red at the unsolicited suggestion and destroyed the birds' nest.
Thus suggesting directly to the superiors is just like committing suicide, although, even small children dislike to take orders.
 A boss seldom wants to give the impression that he acted on the juniors'advice. Therefore, we must avoid direct suggestions to a superior, especially in meetings.
As far as possible, suggestions should be indirect even to juniors.

I worked under an excellent Manager at Baniapur. The fair complexioned tall Shri P.K.Singh often told stories about his colleague Shri Jaleshwar Singh. He related,"What a competent officer, Jaleshwar Babu was! He kept all his files neatly and tidily. His customer service was superb. He scanned the whole branch just after joining. He was a 24 Carat gold." In a nutshell, he appreciated desirable qualities of Shri Jaleshwar Singh before me, instead of directly suggesting me anything.
 I must confess, I secretly longed to develop such qualities that would make Shri P.K.Singh appreciate me behind my back.
Asking a question is better than declaring a conclusion.
   One gentleman called a senior officer to congratulate on the latter's promotion. During talks, the gentleman  expressed," You, too, belong to 1983 batch." My senior was genuinely flustered since he belonged to 1989 batch and his Wellwisher made him six years older. So the better alternative was to ask," You belong to which batch?"
 Once I wrote an article " Is Talking Similar To Driving?" If you suggest for earning goodwill, you must be as careful as a vehicle driver whose little carelessness may damage other vehicles.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

TELL 'NO' WHILE IN HASTE

Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error.
                                                          --- Moliere.

 Once robbers shot at my one friend, I rushed to the emergency ward of Patna Medical College and Hospital to look after him. My wife called there to inform that an acquaintance was asking for our car. I allowed after initial hesitation, but alas! Next day, the car was returned in a terrible condition.

I was searching a good engineering college for my son. One of my friends was also worried about his daughter's admission. He informed me one nice day from  Patna about an engineering college and asked expectantly,"Whether I, too, wanted to jump on the bandwagon." I asked for a little time to consider the pros and cons, but he coaxed me to fire, " Yes or no" immediately since the cunning broker was insisting on a  quick decision. I said yes to find later on that the college was useless. Even my friend rejected that rotten college. But,  in the meanwhile, we coughed out a few thousand bucks.

The ploy of a cheater is to force you to decide quickly; don't fall prey to it and take sufficient time for exploring all alternatives even by making alibis.  The author of 'Rich Dad Poor Dad', Robert Kiyosaki advocated taking time for consulting your business partner, although it may be your cat.
 Always fire an emphatic, unequivocal and polite 'NO', if anybody forces you to reply immediately.
 You may say yes anytime after telling 'NO' without losing your credibility. But once you reply in affirmative, it is too tough to tell 'NO' later and keep your credibility intact. 
 Hasty decisions are often wrong. Therefore, by avoiding quick decisions,  you will save yourself from losses most of the times.