TELL 'NO' WHILE IN HASTE

Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error.

                                                          --- Moliere.

 Once robbers shot at my one staff member, I rushed to the emergency ward of Patna Medical College and Hospital to look after him. My wife called there to inform that an acquaintance was asking for our car. I allowed after initial hesitation, but alas! Next day, the car was returned in a terrible condition.

I was searching a good engineering college for my son. One of my friends was also worried about his daughter's admission. He informed me one day about an engineering college and asked expectantly,"Whether I, too, wanted to jump on the bandwagon." I asked for a little time to consider the pros and cons, but he coaxed me to fire, " Yes or no" immediately since the cunning broker was insisting on a  quick decision. I said yes to find later on that the college was useless. Even my friend rejected that rotten college. But,  in the meanwhile, we coughed out a few thousand bucks.

The ploy of a cheater is to force you to decide quickly; don't fall prey to it and take sufficient time for exploring all alternatives even by making alibis.  The author of 'Rich Dad Poor Dad,' Robert Kiyosaki advocated taking time for consulting your business partner, although it may be your cat.

 Always fire an emphatic, unequivocal and polite 'NO,' if anybody forces you to reply immediately.

 You may say yes anytime after telling 'NO' without losing your credibility. But once you reply in affirmative, it is too tough to say 'NO' later and keep your credibility intact. 

 Hasty decisions are often wrong. Therefore, by avoiding quick decisions,  you will save yourself from losses most of the times.

USURP YOUR OPPONENT'S HALF POWER

 The story of Vali, in Ramayan, intrigued and fascinated me. Vali, the mighty king of monkeys, had got a unique boon.; any person, who dared to fight with Vali, lost half his strength to Vali. I was in search of such formula from very childhood. There is a famous proverb" Where there is will, there is a way." So eventually I got the formula.The method is very straightforward and uncomplicated.

 Avoid fights as much as possible, however, if it becomes inevitable, fight for the right causes only.

Lord Shri Krishna tried his best to avoid the devastating war of Mahabharat. He begged Duryodhana to give only five villages to the Pandavas. But the Kauravas remained adamant, the war finally started but the great warriors and stalwarts like Bhishma Pitamah, Dronacharya, etc., took part in the war reluctantly and explained they were fighting against Pandavas because they were bound by Raj dharma. Thus Lord Shri Krishna destroyed the half force of Kauravas before the start of war.

Moreover, everyone has his conscience which tells him what is right or what is wrong. If you manage things shrewdly and convince the opponent that he is following a wrong path, he may admit his mistake and make a truce. The English finally acknowledged that the days of colonialism are gone, and they decided to free India. The Gandhi and other nationalist leaders won without shedding any blood.

But if your opponent is stubborn like Hitler, he and his army will fight half-heartedly and will finally lose the battle.
Since you will be fighting with your team for right causes,  the indomitable enthusiasm of your team will double your power.

DEVELOP ENOUGH COAXING SKILLS

We are neither Almighty nor super powers but, frail human beings. Others will not be standing on their toes to comply with our wishes. Neither will we be in a position to punish or purchase those who defy us. Avoidable fights, if not avoided tactfully, will consume all our energy and mental peace unnecessarily. Therefore we need to develop enough coaxing skills.

Even Lord Shri Krishna first coaxed Kauravas to give only five villages to  Pandavas and avoid the impending bloodshed. Yudhishthira had to announce the war after point blank refusal of Duryodhana to do so.

 When Arjun refused to kill his nears and dears in the war, Shri Krishna again used tremendous coaxing skills to persuade Arjun to fight the Dharmyudh against the evil. 
The great politicians and statesmen are skilled enough to coax their opponents to toe their lines.
It is high time that we hone our coaxing skills.

दूसरा विध्वंशकारी वाक्यांश " मैंने सोचा। "

 "मैंने सोचा" भी समय बर्बाद करने वाला, उपयोगहीन और विध्वंशकारी वाक्यांश है। हममें से अनेक न तो  कोई जांच करते हैं ना ही  अपनी नजरें चारों ओर दौड़ाते  हैं और बिना किसी ठोस आधार के कुछ भी सोचकर आगे बढ़ जाते हैं, और जब ठोकर लगती है तो अफ़सोस के साथ कहते हैं, "ओह ! मैंने क्या सोचा था, और क्या हो गया ? "

मैंने अपनी बाइक की चोरी के बारे में एक लेख," OVERCONFIDENCE KILLS " लिखा है।
  मैं अपनी बाइक हर जगह अच्छे तरीके से लॉक करके साईरन प्रणाली को ऑन कर देता था, लेकिन मैं अपने बैंक परिसर में साईरन प्रणाली ऑन नहीं करता था क्योंकि मैं सोचता था कि मैं शाखा प्रबंधक हूँ, मुझे और मेरे बाइक को इलाके के सारे लोग पहचानते हैं। अतः कोई भी चोर मेरे शाखा परिसर से मेरा बाइक चुराने का साहस नहीं करेगा, लेकिन अफ़सोस एक काले शनिवार क़ो जब मैं शाखा कार्यालय से बाहर निकला तो मेरे बाइक का कहीं अता-पता नहीं था। कोई शातिर  चोर उसे लेकर रफूचक्कर हो गया था। मुझे जोरदार सदमा लगा, जब एटीएम गार्ड मेरे बाइक का रंग भी ठीक से नहीं बता पाया। मेरी यह सोच कि पूरे इलाके के लोग मेरी बाइक को पहचानते हैं, पूरी तरह आधारहीन और काल्पनिक निकली। लेकिन शायद साईरन प्रणाली ऑन करने की परेशानी से बचने के लिए मैंने यह सोच लिया था की इलाके के सारे लोग मेरी बाइक पहचानते हैं।

एक शुभ मंगलवार को मेरी मेम साहब ने ऑफिस जाते समय मुझे टिफिन बॉक्स नहीं दिया बताया," आज आपके ऑफिस में पार्टी है, अतः टिफिन नहीं बनाया है। मैंने मुस्कराकर  कहा," मैंने पार्टी के बारे में बताया नहीं, आपने पूछा नहीं तो फिर आपने पार्टी की बात कैसे सोच ली ? मेम साहब रक्षात्मक अंदाज में बोलीं ,"आज आपके बैंक में विशेष दिन है न, इसलिये मैंने सोच लिया।" उस दिन सचमुच विशेष दिन था, लेकिन सामिष स्टाफ सदस्यों ने पार्टी अगले दिन शिफ्ट कर दी थी।  अतः मैंने मेम साहब को टिफिन बनाने से मना नहीं किया था, मेरी धर्मपत्नी ने भी इस बारे में कुछ नहीं पूछा और पार्टी की बात सोचकर लंच नहीं बनाया। शायद वो किसी और काम में व्यस्त होंगी और उस दिन लंच बनाना नहीं चाहती होंगी। अतः उनके अवचेतन मन ने  "मैंने सोचा " वाक्यांश का सहारा लिया होगा।  खैर मैंने भी मौके का फायदा उठाया और वंशी स्वीट्स में गरमा-गरम और लजीज पाव-भाजी का मजा लिया। यद्यपि मनोवैज्ञानिक मुझ पर भी आरोप लगा सकते हैं कि मेरा अवचेतन मन पाव-भाजी का मजा लेना चाहता था, इसलिए पार्टी के अगले दिन होने की बात मैंने अपनी मैडम को नहीं बताई। 

एक बार हमलोगों ने ऋण नहीं चुकाने वाले ऋणियों को नोटिस भेजा। एक सीधे-सादे ऋणी ने आकर कहा,"साहब, मैंने सोचा कि मेरा ऋण माफ़ हो गया है, इसलिए मैंने ऋण नहीं चुकाया। मैंने पूछा," आपको जब बैंक ने ऋण चुकता प्रमाण-पत्र नहीं दिया तो आपने ऐसा कैसे सोच लिया? " शायद वह ऋणी अपने सीमित आय से ऋण का मासिक किश्त चुकाना नहीं चाहता था, अतः उसने भी 'मैंने सोचा' वाक्यांश का सहारा लिया। परिणामस्वरूप ऋण की राशि बहुत ज्यादा हो गयी थी और वह मुकदमे  के डर से नींदविहीन रातें और चैनविहीन दिन बिता रहा था। 

अतः "मैंने सोचा" भी "बस एक बार" की तरह समय बर्बाद करने वाला, आधारहीन और बकवास भरा वाक्यांश है। अपना भविष्य उज्जवल बनाने के लिए सपने में भी इससे दूर भागें।

  

तिसरा विध्वंशकरी वाक्यांश "चलता है"

 पहले हम दो  विध्वंशकारी  वाक्यांशों "बस एक बार" और "मैंने सोचा" के बारे में बता चुके हैं। आज हम तीसरे  विध्वंशकारी  वाक्यांश "चलता है" के बारे में विमर्श करेंगे। यह वाक्यांश पहले दोनों वाक्यांशों से भी ज्यादा हानिकारक है।

उपहार सिनेमा हादसा भारत की भीषणतम अग्नि दुर्घटनाओं में से एक था। चेतावनी दिए जाने के बावजूद भी सिनेमा हॉल के मालिकों ने सुरक्षा के पर्याप्त इंतजाम नहीं किये । शायद उन्होंने सोचा होगा,"जैसा भी इंतजाम है, चलता है ". 

इस "चलता है" सोच के भयानक परिणाम हुए, भारत के अब तक के सबसे भयावह अग्नि-दुर्घटना में दम घुटने से  59 लोग असमय काल के गाल में समा गए और 103 लोग गंभीर रूप से घायल हो गए।   बाद में न्यायलय ने अंसल-बंधुओं समेत 12 लोगों को लापरवाही आदि  के अपराध का दोषी पाया और उन्हें कारावास तथा आर्थिक दंड की सजा सुनाई।  

एक बैंक में विश्वास (बदला हुआ  नाम)  नामक एक युवक काम करता था। वह बड़े ही मृदुल स्वभाव का आग्यांकारी स्टाफ था। बैंक अधिकारीयों का उस पर अटूट विश्वास था। 

बैंक में वह काफी दुर्भाग्यपूर्ण दिन था , जब बैंक के निरीक्षक ने लाखों रुपयों का घोटाला पकड़ा। यह घोटाला विश्वास ने कर दिया था।  सुंननेवालों को अपने कानों पर  विश्वास नहीं हुआ। विश्वास ने रोते -रोते बताया कि एक बार उसे कुछ सौ रुपयों की जरुरत थी। उसने खाते में गरबर करके रूपये निकाल लिए और बाद में जमा कर दिया। इस ओर किसी का ध्यान नहीं गया। अतः उसने सोचा कि उसका तरीका चल गया। अतः जब उसे दुबारा कुछ ज्यादा रुपयों की जरुरत हुई तो उसने यही तरीका अपनाया और सोचा,"चलता है। " धीरे-धीरे उसकी जरूरतें बढ़ती गयीं और उसने काफी बड़े रकम का घोटाला कर दिया। अब उसके पास उतनी रकम नहीं थी कि वह खातों में डालकर गरबरी ठीक कर पाता। शाखा में निरीक्षण के दौरान गरबरी रह गयी और विश्वास पकड़ा गया। कल तक  जो चल रहा था, वह नहीं चल पाया और बेचारे की नौकरी चली गयी।
 2 G घोटाला करने वाले सोच रहे होंगे कि सब चलता है, अंततः वह घोटाला पकड़ा गया, अनेक लोग जांच के घेरे में है। अनेक लोगों को ज़मानत नहीं मिलने के कारण महीनों जेल में बितानी पड़ी।  यद्यपि कौन दोषी है और कौन निर्दोष ? इसका फैसला होना बाकी है। 

अतः आज जो चलता है, कल बड़े मुसीबत की जड़ बन सकता है। समय रहते इस वाक्यांश से तोबा कर लें। भले ही प्रारम्भ में आपको थोड़ा कष्ट होगा, लेकिन अंततः  आपका जीवन ज्यादा  सुखद और शांतिपूर्ण होगा।

  

WHAT ARE YOUR SIGNBOARDS?

Do you know," Every person carries many visible sign boards with him." That is why we call someone intelligent; we call someone trustworthy; we call someone cunning; and so on.

 I too carried a big signboard which said," I forget no favour and forgive no disfavour." This sign was inspired by a character in Sidney Sheldon's famous novel,"The Other Side of Midnight ." I had made it intentionally after giving due thought. However, later on, I felt that forgiving no disfavour is behaving just like a snake.

 It is said that the snake bites even that person who feeds milk to it when it gets a little displeasure. So there is one popular idiom in our area, “You may feed tonnes of milk to a snake, but even then it will never be trustworthy."

Therefore, I decided to change my signboard. Now it reads," I forget no favour; I condone some disfavour, but don't take me for granted." The signboard is again well thought. When I reciprocate the favours given, I assure my friends and public a positive reciprocal gesture for every favour they bestow upon me. Thus I encourage others to give me favours. I condone unintentional disfavours and counsel such persons. But after all, being Senior Manager, I have certain administrative functions to discharge, so I need to instil some sense of fear also. So sometimes I warn and sometimes I retaliate selectively if it becomes necessary. However, I try to be as discreet as a surgeon who operates and takes out only bad parts of the body.

Have you ever analysed what signboards you carry with you? Have you made your signboards after giving a proper thought? Do you change or modify your signboards when it is need of the hour?
Please take a pen and a piece of paper and start writing your answer to the above questions. Investing a little time, in this exercise, may reap tremendous benefits.

'बस एक बार' एक विध्वंशकरी वाक्यांश

 'बस एक  बार', संभवतः इस संसार का सबसे ज्यादा नकारात्मक और विनाशकारी वाक्यांश  है।

कोई कहता है कि  'बस एक  बार', मैं पांच मिनट और सो लेता हूँ, उसके बाद पांच किलोमीटर तेजी से टहलूंगा। कोई कहता है कि  'बस एक  बार', मैं जी भर के शराब पी लेता हूँ, उसके बाद अगले सात जन्म तक सपने में भी इसे  नहीं  छुऊँगा। कोई कहता है कि  'बस एक  बार', पान या गुटखे का मजा ले लेता हूँ, फिर कभी इनके आस -पास भी नहीं फटकूंगा। 

लेकिन , अफ़सोस , बाद  में  उन्हें  महसूस  होता  है  कि  'बस एक  बार', वाक्यांश  ने  न  केवल  उनके  स्वास्थ्य  पर , बल्कि उनकी  महत्वकांछाओं  पर  भी  पानी  फेर  दिया  है , क्योंकि  'बस एक  बार' का सिलसिला  अनवरत  चलता  चला  जाता  है। 

 कैसे  हम  इस  नकारात्मक और विनाशकारी वाक्यांश  से  छुटकारा  पा  सकते  हैं ?

यदि  कोई  बुरी  आदत  त्यागने  लायक  है  तो  इसे  झट-पट  त्याग  दें।  यदि  गुटखा  खाना  खतरनाक  है  तो  फिर क्यों  'बस एक  बार' एक  गुटखा  खाने  के  बारे  में  सोचें, क्यों  न  इसे  अविलम्ब अलविदा  कह  दें ?

यदि  कोई  काम  करने  लायक  है  तो  उसे  १० सेकंड  के  लिए  भी  क्यों  टाले , क्यों  न  उसे  अभी  तुरत  करना  प्रारम्भ  कर  दें ?

अतः आज  ही  टाल -मटोल  के  शहंशाह  'बस एक  बार', को  हमेशा  के  लिए  अलविदा  कह दें  और  गतिशीलता  के  सम्राट  'अविलम्ब ' को  सदा  के  लिए  गले  लगा  लें।  अपने सपने सच करना और जीवन  के  उद्देश्यों को पाना  आपके  लिए आसान हो जायेगा। 

RAISE YOUR VOICE FOR GOOD CAUSES.

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world...would do this, it would change the earth.”- William Faulkner.

"The person who bears oppressions silently more guilty than oppressors."- Bal Gangadhar Tilak.

Raise your voices for good causes. Ignore neither excesses nor filth. Take the broom to clean as per your might. Let's work together to make this world a better place to live.
जिन खोजा तिन पाइंया गहरे पानी पैठ,
मैं बौरी डूबन डरी, रही किनारे बैठ,(Those who dared, got by exploring deep waters. I, the coward, feared to drown and kept sitting on the shore) 

BE FLEXIBLE

 BE FLEXIBLE LIKE YOUR TONGUE, HARD TEETH ARE EXTRACTED ONE BY ONE; THE FLEXIBLE TONGUE LASTS WHOLE LIFE.

 BE FLEXIBLE LIKE AIR FILLED TYRES; THEY ABSORB SHOCKS QUICKLY AND GO FAR AWAY.

 BE FLEXIBLE LIKE AKBAR THE GREAT, WHOSE POLICY OF TOLERANCE MADE HIS NAME IMMORTAL.

 BE FLEXIBLE LIKE LORD SHRI KRISHNA AND HELP TRUTH PREVAIL.

 BE FLEXIBLE LIKE AN ALIVE BODY, DEAD TISSUES BECOME BRITTLE.

YOU SULK, I COAX (तुम रूठा करो , मैं मनाया करूँ)

YOU SULK, I COAX

This deceptive psychological game is played in the most household. One player gets annoyed at a trivial matter, and he starts sulking. Another player persuades him to spit the anger. In the hardened form, sometimes the Coaxer has to shed priceless tears also. After the sulker stops sulking, the coaxer gets a great psychological satisfaction and pats his back for his excellent coaxing skills.
However sadly, after sometimes the coaxer again creates the undesirable situation that made his partner upset and the game restarts.

The great psychiatrist and transactional analyst Dr. Eric Berne wrote a bestselling book named "Games People Play" in 1964. He narrated many psychological games in his bestselling book. "Look how hard I've tried." Now I have got you, you son of a bitch" "Why don't you, yes but" are the name of some games narrated by Dr. Eric Berne.

Almost all these psychological games are repetitive in nature, waste of time as well as harmful. The players play them unknowingly till their death. The mover collects fake mental pleasure, and the victim gets despair.

"Rapo" is also a very common dangerous game described by Dr. Berne. This game often results in severe depression. Many times this game leads into criminal case trials, and sometimes it results even into homicide. The interested readers may visit http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/rapo/ for more details. I recommend that everybody  should read and understand "Rapo."

 Dr. Berne also narrated some constructive games such as "They'll be glad, they knew me," "Homely sage" etc.,

Dr. Berne also suggested ways of getting rid of games and leading a meaning life.

GOOD BYE- "MASTER PROCRASTINATOR"

Procrastination is opportunity's assassin.- Victor Kiam

'JUST FOR ......' is one of the most dangerous and destructive phrases in the world.

One says, "I shall sleep just for five minutes more and then I shall go for a 5-mile brisk walk." The other says, "I shall enjoy smoking heartily just for now and after that, I shall neither touch a cigarette in my dreams nor in my next seven lives." However, they realize later on to their dismay that "JUST FOR...." has ruined their ambition and their health since the sequence went on indefinitely.

How can we get rid of this dangerous and destructive phrase? 

If something is worth forsaking; forsake it then and there. If smoking is dangerous; why should we smoke one more cigarette just for now? Let's forsake it just now forever. You may also peruse my article " THE MAGICAL REPETITION KILLED MY BAD HABIT."

 Similarly, there is no fun in procrastinating an important work even for a nanosecond, start it just now.

 Bid goodbye to the master procrastinator "JUST FOR....." at once and hug the emperor of dynamism " START IT NOW."  immediately for making your dreams real.

ADORE YOUR TOOLS.

Our, Father of the Nation, Mahatma Gandhi led the world's biggest peaceful movement to free our Mother India. He led simple and illiterate masses to fight against the mighty British Empire, but never complained that more than ninety percent of his followers were illiterate. He got incredible results from whatever resources were available to him.
Shri Ram vanquished the arrogant Ravan with the army of monkeys.

 Bhuvan(Amir Khan) made a cricket team of novice villagers in one of the biggest blockbusters "Lagan," and defeated the skilled but complacent English team. The film "Lagan" became so much popular among Management Gurus that some of them advised their students to view "Lagan" to learn Management lessons. I attended a training program on Managerial Development Program at Lucknow in July 2012. One fantastic trainer, Mr. Abhay Singh showed us some video clips of the Lagan to explain many management lessons. One may find a good number of  Management lessons from film Lagan on the internet.

In the famous best-selling book "One Minute Manager," the learned authors Mr. Kenth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson exhorted readers to spare one minute daily to look on the people they manage and realize that they are most valuable resources of the organization.

There is one popular idiom which says," A bad workman quarrels with his tools."

Let's stop cursing our tools. Able leaders often get astounding results with simple tools.

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS

The brave speak not with their words but with their action. 

Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar never refuted any criticism by empty words. He gave a befitting reply by hitting another century.

General Ayub Khan was loudly boasting to capture Delhi, in the mean time our adventurous & brave troops led by well determined, Lionhearted Prime Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri started knocking at Lahore.

WHAT OUR BOSS WANTS ?

Our boss is also a human being like us. He too has a demanding boss. The big boss gives mind blowing targets to the poor fellow. Our boss is very hard pressed to achieve them fro earning appreciations, salary raise, promotion, etc., so he divides the targets among us. The people react in following 4 ways after getting goals.

1. Some persons sulk and say these tasks are not practical and never achievable. The boss gets very much irritated and brands them negative minded. 

2. Some say," Yes, we will achieve the targets comfortably." But they don't exert much to achieve the goals. Initially, the boss becomes happy. But afterward, he brands them, big braggarts.

3. Some persons accept the challenge happily and work wholeheartedly to achieve them but miss them slightly. The boss gets consoled that at least they tried sincerely.

4. Some persons not only accept the challenge with a brave smiling face but they also make innovative strategies to achieve the targets but leave no stone unturned to achieve them. The boss gets overjoyed with this category of persons. These persons are highly in demand at all places. They get incentives, promotions and appreciations. The other companies also look for poaching them into their company. 

ANTICIPATE & AVOID CONFRONTATION

Confrontation distracts our minds from progress,  makes our nervous system tense and inhibits growth by wasting our valuable energy in fights; it often escalates into physical fights and lodging of criminal cases, etc.; so progressive people must pre-empt it by hook or by crook.  

1. A smile is the best way to pre-empt confrontation. So I always smile pleasantly at my customers, they forget their little grievances. I do their work then & there, if possible. Their complaints end in toto, and they too bid Good Bye with smiling face.

2. Conflict of interests is another leading cause of confrontation. Experts suggest viewing the things with other person's angle also and try to find a way where both persons get what they want, or at least they get parts of what they want. This theory is also called," Win-Win Theory." 
All the major organizations such as TATA, Maruti, Microsoft, etc., run on win-win theory. They take care of their employees well. They do continuous research to give their customers more & more satisfaction for lesser and lesser price.

A life without confrontation will be much more beautiful and worth living. 

TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORN

The bullfight was a popular game in ancient days. The successful bullfighters never attempted to catch the bull's neck, legs or any other organ else the fierce bull would overpower & injure them. They used to target the bull's horns only. Those, who could successfully catch the horns directly with full force, used to overpower the ferocious animal.

The great problem solvers use the same technique to solve the vexing problems. They don't fear problems, they don't evade problems, they face the problems directly, they keenly observe and analyze the problem, and they take expert's advice if necessary and solve the problem then and there.

INCREASE YOUR EFFICIENCY AND EFFECTIVENESS

Efficiency means doing things right. Effectiveness means doing the right things. First, select right things to do, then do them fast in the right way. This will increase both our efficiency and effectiveness.

 To improve our effectiveness, we must know what the right things are? Preparing "TO DO LIST" daily is the best way to know what the right things are that we need to do today. We may start doing the most important things first from the list. When we focus on doing the most important things first, the other things take care of themselves. I prepare "TO DO LIST" in my mobile and review it twice every day.

I do following to increase my efficiency.

1. I learned some tips on time management.

2. I practice focused working. When I start doing a task, I don't allow my friends to interrupt me in the middle. If some of my friends visit me in between, I throw a warm smile and tell them politely to wait for a few minutes. If a few of my friends insist that their work is very urgent, I listen to their problem patiently, if situation warrants so I attend them immediately as an exception. I always keep my mobile in vibration mode. I call back my friends after completion of the task at hand.

3. I practice," A place for everything & everything in a place." This practice helps me in searching things easily.

4. I keep my drawers and workplace clean & clutter free.

5. I do physical exercises and play mental games daily to keep me physically & mentally fit.

6. I practice taking long deep breaths.

7. I often smile & talk funny to make my colleagues laugh and become tension free.

 All the above things work well. Please try them, you may get amazed. 

START APPRECIATING YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS

A HAPPY FAMILY IS BUT AN EARLIER HEAVEN
-- George Bernard Shaw
.

  We often admire our friends and colleagues liberally for maintaining a congenial atmosphere at our workplace.  
But, alas! Many of us forget this simple technique at home.

Once I tried this method at my home, too.  I sincerely appreciated my better half for preparing healthy and yummy dinner; her hearts knew no bounds. Consequently, we enjoyed a fantastic and satisfying evening. 

I also found a few reasons to admire my children; they became pleasantly surprised and motivated also.

 I dealt very tactfully and patiently with bank's customers, but I  got frequently irritated at home. Hence a tense environment always permeated there, and all my family members reeled under constant fear.
 But, now I am a changed man. I deal with my family members with the same tact and patience as I use with my business colleagues. Consequently, a positive energy prevails in the house.

You must be thinking if I was a nut, why am I wasting your time? I would not have shared my personal shortcomings purposelessly.

 I know a smart and well-behaved colleague who talks to everybody with utmost courtesy; once I was talking to him, in the meanwhile, his wife rang him; he started abusing her in a filthy language.

We dress smartly and behave appropriately so that others call us delightful persons.
 Let's behave in such a way at home so that our spouse calls us a lovely life partner, our parents call us obedient offspring, our children call us a caring parent. 

SAY YES SELECTIVELY.

I know a thin person of average height; I shall call him Mr. X whose mouth is always full of Pan. He is an intelligent man but alas everybody calls him a LIAR.

 However, I can vouch that Mr. Liar is a nice person, then what is the problem with the poor fellow? The poor chap reflexively tells, “YES" to everybody for every work. Naturally, he fails to fulfill all his promises. So he keeps on taking time. Whenever we ask him," What happened to the work you promised yesterday?" He immediately replies," Sir, today it will be done without fail. But most of his promises are never fulfilled. His associates become tired of his empty promises and exclaim with irritation," Do not talk about Mr. X, the great liar.

I have seen my many friends on the verge of mental break down. They say," Uttam Jee, my job will certainly drive me mad one day. I have hardly any time to talk to my family members. If I work 24 hours round the year, my tasks will not be complete."

 When I analyze their problem, I find that they have become addicted to the bad habit of telling, “YES." for every task and to everybody. They even take the work of their juniors and colleagues. They are sincere persons, and they don't want to be called, "LIAR."  So they work hard day and night and go on the verge of collapsing.

However, there is a simple solution to this vexed problem?  We must learn the art of saying yes selectively. However, we need not tell, "NO" out rightly. We may tell our colleagues," I shall think over your proposal and then convey my sincere views on this."  Thus we may get time to judge whether the proposal under consideration is worth doing or not and whether we have sufficient time and resources to honor our commitment, if we say, “YES."

We must also continuously strive for increasing our efficiency and effectiveness so that we could handle more assignments smoothly. In the meantime, we should practice telling no politely, tactfully and firmly, where the situation warrants so.

Note: I have misdescribed the identity of Mr. X to conceal his identity. 

HOW TO ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS

Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

- Walt Disney

Don't mistake activity with achievement.

- John Wooden

If you can't do great things, do small things in a great way.

- Napoleon Hill