USURP YOUR OPPONENT'S HALF POWER

 The story of Vali, in Ramayan, intrigued and fascinated me. Vali, the mighty king of monkeys, had got a unique boon.; any person, who dared to fight with Vali, lost half his strength to Vali. I was in search of such formula from very childhood. There is a famous proverb" Where there is will, there is a way." So eventually I got the formula.The method is very straightforward and uncomplicated.

 Avoid fights as much as possible, however, if it becomes inevitable, fight for the right causes only.

Lord Shri Krishna tried his best to avoid the devastating war of Mahabharat. He begged Duryodhana to give only five villages to the Pandavas. But the Kauravas remained adamant, the war finally started but the great warriors and stalwarts like Bhishma Pitamah, Dronacharya, etc., took part in the war reluctantly and explained they were fighting against Pandavas because they were bound by Raj dharma. Thus Lord Shri Krishna destroyed the half force of Kauravas before the start of war.

Moreover, everyone has his conscience which tells him what is right or what is wrong. If you manage things shrewdly and convince the opponent that he is following a wrong path, he may admit his mistake and make a truce. The English finally acknowledged that the days of colonialism are gone, and they decided to free India. The Gandhi and other nationalist leaders won without shedding any blood.

But if your opponent is stubborn like Hitler, he and his army will fight half-heartedly and will finally lose the battle.
Since you will be fighting with your team for right causes,  the indomitable enthusiasm of your team will double your power.

अपने काम से काम रखिये।

कुछ  करने  की  इच्छा  रखने  वाले  व्यक्ति  के  लिए  इस  दुनिया  में  कुछ  भी  असंभव  नहीं  है  । 

अब्राहम  लिंकन । 

 जून 1989 में सबेरे 8 बजे मैं अपने मित्र श्री राम किशोर सिंह के  आवास पर एक आवश्यक कार्य-वश गया। उन्होंने सस्नेह मुझे बैठाकर चाय-नाश्ता कराया। मैं शिष्टाचारवश  उनका कुशल-क्षेम पूछने लगा। उन्होंने भी उत्सुकता से मेरे आने का कारण पूछा। मैंने बताया, "बस आपका हाल-चाल जानने आ गया हूँ।" इस पर  रामकिशोर बाबू  खुलकर हँसते हुए बोले, "उत्तम जी, आप अकारण अपनी गर्दन भी नहीं हिलाते हैं। " 

उनकी बात पर मैं भी अपनी हँसी रोक नहीं पाया। मैंने उन्हें अपने आने का सही उद्देश्य बताया। उन्होंने भी अविलम्ब मेरा काम कर दिया। 

मैं अपने अनेक  दोस्तों को व्यस्त पाता हूँ। वे कहते हैं, "मैं  काम में पूरी तरह से संलग्न हूँ। मैं पूछता हूँ, "क्या आप अपने काम में व्यस्त हैं या फिर दिल लगाने के लिए जो भी सामने है, उसे करते जा रहे हैं ?

 मेरा  प्रश्न सुनकर कई मित्र बगलें झाँकने लगते हैं। अंग्रेजी में एक कहावत भी है ," Busy for Nothing.".

कुछ  लोग तो " आये  थे  हरिभजन  को  ओटन  लागे  कपास " वाली  कहावत  चरितार्थ  कर  देते  हैं  अर्थात  जिस लक्ष्य  को  ध्यान  में  रखकर  कार्य  का शुभारम्भ करते  हैं, बाद  में  उसे  ही  मस्तिष्क से विस्मृत कर देते हैं। 

अनेक लोग कठोर परिश्र्म करके भी सफलता से कोसों दूर रह जाते हैं क्योंकि उनकी दृष्टि महान अर्जुन की तरह चिड़िया की आँख पर केंद्रित नहीं रहती हैं।

अतः अपने कार्यालय में कोई भी काम करने के पहले अपने आप से पूछें कि क्या यह काम आपके जॉब प्रोफाइल के अंतर्गत है और क्या इसे करने से आपके उच्चाधिकारियों की कानून सम्मत अपेच्छाएं पूरी होंगी ? यदि जवाब "हाँ" हो तभी वह काम करें। अपने जीवन में कोई काम करने से पहले सोचें कि क्या यह कार्य आपको अपने जीवन के लक्ष्यों की ओर ले जायेगा ? यदि उत्तर नकारात्मक हो तो कृपया ऐसे कार्य को दूर से ही अलविदा कह दें।

रेलगाड़ी की तरह पटरी पर लगातार अपने लक्ष्यों की ओर चलते रहें। रास्ते में घना कोहरा आ सकता है या फिर आँधी आ सकती है। परिणामस्वरूप आपको अपनी गति धीमी करनी पड़ सकती है , लेकिन अपने लक्ष्यों की ओर दृढ़ता के साथ बढ़ते रहें। अनुकूल परिस्थितियों में गति तेज कर दें, प्रतिकूल परिस्थितियों में गति धीमी कर दें, लेकिन  निशाना वीर अर्जुन की तरह  हमेशा अपने लक्ष्यों पर  रखें। एक दिन सफलता अवश्य ही आपके क़दमों को चूमेगी।  

DEVELOP ENOUGH COAXING SKILLS

We are neither Almighty nor super powers but, frail human beings. Others will not be standing on their toes to comply with our wishes. Neither will we be in a position to punish or purchase those who defy us. Avoidable fights, if not avoided tactfully, will consume all our energy and mental peace unnecessarily. Therefore we need to develop enough coaxing skills.

Even Lord Shri Krishna first coaxed Kauravas to give only five villages to  Pandavas and avoid the impending bloodshed. Yudhishthira had to announce the war after point blank refusal of Duryodhana to do so.

 When Arjun refused to kill his nears and dears in the war, Shri Krishna again used tremendous coaxing skills to persuade Arjun to fight the Dharmyudh against the evil. 
The great politicians and statesmen are skilled enough to coax their opponents to toe their lines.
It is high time that we hone our coaxing skills.

DEVELOP CONCENTRATION OF MIND IN A FUNNY WAY

Meditation is the focusing of the mind on some object. If the mind acquires concentration on one object, it can be so concentrated on any object whatsoever.          SWAMI VIVEKANAND.

When we talk of the concentration of mind, some of us get bogged down. However, we may develop a concentration in funny ways also.

Have you observed a group of people? Some of them spontaneously smile, some become gloomy. Their facial expression changes according to the thoughts coming into their mind. We may consciously modify the process.

My one colleague Mr. X always remained upset. This affected the performance of my department also. Once I invited Mr. X to have a cup of tea with me. I asked him politely about the reasons for his being severely upset.

He started telling me about all the unfortunate things that had happened in his life. I heard him patiently. When he got exhausted, I asked him to recall a recent event that made him happy. First, he could find none. But on my persistent, friendly goading, he related a happy event.
 Recently his brother-in-law presented a bicycle to his daughter. His daughter was euphoric along with his son. On seeing both the offspring elated he also became happy. His wife prepared delicious dinner consisting of chicken curry, fried rice, and other mouth-watering dishes. His whole family enjoyed the yummy meal along with the children,s Mama jee. 
Now I asked," How are you feeling?" He accepted with hesitation that he was feeling fine."

Therefore, the formula for getting happy instantly is simple.

 Recall any happy event of your life. Practice concentrating on that happy event only. You will enjoy the whole experience tremendously. Initially, it will be difficult to focus on even a happy event, but you may master the art with practice.

 While discussing a problem with friends, adopt the same technique. First, resolve one issue, and then present another problem. The productivity of your department will improve drastically with concentrated efforts.

Try discussing happy moments spent together with your friends and relatives. This will enhance happiness in the relationship along with concentration.

BEWARE SWINDLERS ARE ROAMING EVERYWHERE.

Use all your six senses to cope with challenges thrown by swindlers.

My grandma used to tell stories about thugs and crooks. Those villains used to have big mustaches and terrible faces. But, in real life, they look like normal human beings. They look friendly but will deceive you, as soon as you go off guard. There are many rackets where they swindle people as part of organized profession.

Medicine companies are one of the best examples. Same drugs are sold by the companies on huge price differences ranging from 100% to 300% or more. I wonder how the government allows this. The height of irony is that the affordable medicines marketed by the reputed companies are not available at all places.

Online swindlers ask debit card numbers and passwords by impersonating themselves as bank staff and siphon off all the money by making online purchases. They give their address to the online marketing companies for shipment of goods even then our efficient Police is unable to catch them, and the racket is going on unabated. 

One can be duped at innocuous places also. Recently I went to get petrol from a well-known petrol pump and asked for 5 litres. The innocent looking petrol pump operator suggested me politely to get the tank filled completely. As soon as the tank became full, he reset the meter within a nanosecond. He claimed 595 bucks. I protested that I did not see the meter. But I didn't want to make a scene for some small amount he might have swindled. Moreover, there was a long queue behind me, so I paid silently. When I related the story to my colleagues, they told that the petrol pump operators dupe as soon as somebody goes off guard.

Therefore train your five senses of smelling, hearing, looking, touching and tasting to cope with the challenge. The sixth sense or the intuition of the attentive persons  also strengthens automatically.

DON'T TAKE DECISIONS IN NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

 Beware, negative emotions are more dangerous than the opium.

 Transactional Analysis theory states,"Our mind consists of 3 ego states. The CHILD, PARENT, nd ADULT.

(1) The CHILD- Some childlike and childish qualities become part and parcel of our personalities.

(2) The PARENT- Our parent figures continuously give instructions. We promptly comply with most of them. This is why many irrelevant traditions are carried  from genaration to generation.

(3) The ADULT- As we grow up, we start thinking rationally discard most of childish qualities. We also question many parents’ instructions. For example Sati System was being carried from generation to generation. People even did not question it’s propriety and mercilessly burnt the widows alive as they learnt it from their ancestors.
 Thus they were under the influence of PARENT ego state. Raja Ram Mohan Rai, in his ADULT ego state, questioned its propriety and fought to make the Sati System illegal.

Our ADULT ego state gets decommissioned when we are in any emotion i.e. either in love, hate, anger, depression, fear, greed, over enthusiasm etc. We may harm ourselves and others in negative emotions. So the best course of action will be to avoid any action in  emotions.We must wait for emotions to calm down. In the mean time we may talk with our close friends to take their advice, enjoy music, movies etc. Taking long and deep breaths also calms down emotions. 

Fraudsters raise emotions of  confidence, greed or fear before duping us. Hitler gave emotional speeches to make people mad of hatred.

A smoke detector warns us as soon as it detects smoke. Similarly we must continuously monitor the thoughts in our mind and take preventive measures when negative emotions trap us.
 Too much positive emotions such as over confidence, over enthusiasm, craziness in love etc are worse than negative emotions.   

UNDERREACT, IT IS GOOD FOR OUR HEALTH.

If we control our reactions in the short-term, we don't have to live with the 'reaction regret' in the long term.
--- Lysa Terkeurst.
I along with my family members visited Nainital in 2009. The boat ride in Nainital Lake was magnificent. Next day we left by car for Kaushani and Ranikhet. The whole journey was abundant with breath taking scenery. After enjoying every second there for three days, we reached Kathgodam Railway Station for going to Goa.
 Unfortunately, I lost my temper with the kids on a trivial matter. That incident hurt my better half.Consequently, we couldn't relish our first day in Goa.

I honestly confess that the tendency to overreact overpowers me sometimes even now. Therefore during vulnerable periods, I repeat the slogan "Underreact." "Underreact." continuously and forcefully while taking many long and deep breaths. This activity checks the overreaction in its womb and keeps my mental as well as physical health in good condition.

Although old habits are die hard, yet I appear to have mastered the art of underreaction. During my posting at Motihari, my colleague Anil Jee once remarked," Send an angry man to Manager Sahab (me), the aggrieved speaks nonstop, and Manager Sahab will be looking at his face and listening silently. The poor fellow will calm down in no time."

 I don’t only hear complaints of annoyed persons patiently while looking intently at their face but also invite them to sit down and get their legitimate work done at the earliest. The displeased leave my chamber with smiling faces and also become my well-wishers. 

DON'T ALLOW DILUTION OF YOUR CONTROL.

Initially, East India Company obtained permission from the Emperor Jahangir to trade in India. Slowly they built godowns and hired shooters to protect their godowns during the period of other emperors. Finally, they made fort-like godowns and recruited a large army to capture the whole India in a systematic and planned way.

Charles Seymour, MP, in the Jeffrey Archers novel " First Among Equal" appointed his right-hand man Mr. Clive Reynolds to look after his family bank in which the family had 4% shares but controlling power. Mr. Reynolds slowly made insignificant looking changes in the management of the bank and appointed his men in a systematic way. In due course, Mr. Reynolds became so much powerful that he double crossed Charles Seymour.

A popular idiom exhorts," Never allow any person to catch your fingers lest he would catch your wrist."

 Therefore silently and carefully keep an eye on even minor developments taking place in your circle of influence. Tactfully thwart all the major or minor attempts that may cause dilution of your control else one day you may find to your utter dismay that you have been thrown out of the steering wheel.

Once I read a famous idiom," Offence is the best defense." 
Therefore, try continuously to increase more and more control in your circle of influence and also expand it by leaps and bounds. Your friends and colleagues will help you best by the win-win theory. Please also read people management section of our lovely blog to get insights into getting along with people by the win-win method.

This theory is also applicable to self-management. 
Suppose you get up at 5.30 a.m. one day, the CHILD in you may suggest that there is no harm in sleeping one hour more today. If you oblige yourself, you may find that slowly you have become late riser. Therefore if you get up at 5.30 a.m. please try to set new target 5.25 or 5.20 a.m. and so on.

TELL BLACK MAILERS," AN UNEQUIVOCAL NO."

There is a short, interesting story about blackmail in Jeffrey Archer's novel," FIRST AMONG EQUALS."

A stunningly beautiful call girl Mandy sent a blackmailing note to Mr. Raymond Gould, the MP & undersecretary, asking 500 pounds. Mr. Gould hired solicitor Sir Roger Pelham and paid him 500 pounds to get rid of the blackmailer.

The attorney's logic was simple. If you pay the blackmailer beast, more ransom may be demanded sooner or later. Hence it is better to face the facts boldly and tell the blackmailer," A firm and unequivocal No."

Many times my friends approach me when they are fearful of certain impending blackmail. I calmly ask," What is the worst thing that can happen to us?"  I allow the question to be absorbed for some time. If no reply comes, I repeat the question again and then explain," The worst thing that can happen is that the cruel death will hit us and that is certain anyway then why are we so fearful? They get great relief often.

Blackmailers are nasty human beings. You can trust the deadly cobra but not the blackmailers.  I hear stories how did the king cobra spare a small child. During British rule, Shri Nehru lived in a jail which had many snakes but they never harmed him.
 One thing is certain about the deadly cobra that it will not harm you unless and until you put your foot absentmindedly on its body. But the devil's offspring,  the blackmailer will not allow you to heave a sigh of relief until you can fulfill his lust. Therefore, face the facts boldly, report police, take legal help or do any legal thing to get rid of him.

सस्ते में ईलाज कैसे करायें ?

दुर्भाग्यवश अनेक चिकित्सकों ने चिकित्सा को ज्यादा से ज्यादा लाभ कमाने का  साधन बना लिया है। वे अपना दवाखाना रखते हैं और ऐसी दवाइयाँ लिखते हैं जो सिर्फ उनके दवाखाने  में ही 

उपलब्ध होती  है। मैंने इन दवाइयों में मौजूद केमिकल वाले अन्य दवाइयों से  इनकी तुलना की  तो पाया कि लगभग/  हूबहू कॉम्बिनेशन वाली दवाइयाँ बाजार में काफी सस्ती मिलती हैं। अतः आप यदि बिना दवाखाना रखने वाले चिकित्सक से दिखाएंगे तो दवाइयों के मूल्य में आपको भारी बचत हो सकती है।
अनेक चिकित्सक बहुत ज्यादा जाँच लिखते हैं। उनके सहायक आपको किसी खास जाँच-घर में ही जाँच कराने की सलाह देते हैं।  ऐसे चिकित्सकों से भी यथा-संभव दूर रहें।
चिकित्सा-जगत में स्वर्गीय डॉक्टर शिवनारायण सिंह और डॉक्टर एस.एन जायसवाल  जैसे आदर्शवादी और योग्य चिकित्सक बहुत हैं। आप  ऐसे चिकित्सकों से इलाज कराकर खर्च  में भारी बचत कर सकते हैं। मेरे दोस्त-समबन्धी जब बीमार पडते हैं तो मैं उनका समाचार पूछने जाता हूँ। बातों ही बातों में उनसे इलाज करने वाले चिकित्सक का नाम और इलाज के दौरान उनके अनुभव के बारे में पूछता हूँ। इस तरह मेरे पास अपने शहर के सुयोग्य और कम जांंच एवं दवा लिखने वाले चिकित्सकों की सूची बन गयी है।
कुछ बीमारियों का इलाज सचमुच काफी खर्चीला होता है। ऐसी बिमारियों के चपेट में आने पर आपकी आर्थिक स्थिति चरमरा सकती है। अतः आप एक फ्लोटिंग मेडिक्लेम पालिसी ले सकते हैं जो एक विशेष राशि तक आपके परिवार के किसी भी सदस्य का चिकित्सा खर्च वहन कर सकता है। विस्तृत जानकारी आपको सम्बंधित इन्सुरेंस कंपनी के कागजात से  मिल सकती है। पंजाब नेशनल बैंक भी ओरिएण्टल इन्सुरेंस कंपनी के साथ टाई-अप करके  बहुत आकर्षक मेडिकलेम पालिसी बेचता है जिसमें आपके परिवार के चार सदस्यों को फ्लोटिंग मेडिक्लेम इन्सुरेंस दिया जाता है।
मैनें गूगल सर्च करने पर पाया कि मैनकाइंड फार्मा लिपिड प्रोफाइल कम करने की दवा LIPIKIND-F  4 रूपये 20 पैसे टेबलेट बेचती है, यही दवा कुछ कंपनी 15 रूपये टेबलेट बेचती है। इसी तरह इप्का की  LOSANORM २५, 2 रूपये प्रति टेबलेट से भी कम पर मिलती है जबकि इसी कैमिकल से बनी दवा के लिए कई कंपनियां 5 रूपये टेबलेट से भी ज्यादा एमआरपी रखी हैं।
अतः आप जागरूक रहकर अपने बटुए पर कम दबाब  देकर भी अपना इलाज करा सकते हैं। 

THE MORE SPECIFIC, THE MORE EXCELLENT

The more specific and measurable your goal, the more quickly you will be able to identify, locate, create, and implement the use of the necessary resources for its achievement.

Charles J. Givens

One fine day, I received a phone call from a courier boy. The poor chap asked furiously," Sir, where is your house in banker's colony." I boasted calmly," I have been living there for 15 years. Ask my name from anybody." He became much flustered, "None is outside. To whom shall I ask? Please tell me your house number." I realized my mistake and said meekly, L-4.

Recently I called on my friend Manish Jee in Kolkata. He told me," He lives in Shipping Corporation housing society." I presumed this society must be big and famous. So I didn't bother to ask Plot number etc. and boarded one taxi, assuming that the cab driver must be knowing it.
 We were searching Shipping Corporation housing society, near Park Circus, from the windows of the cab. The cab driver, too, was not able to locate it. Finally, I telephoned Manish Jee who came on the road to receive us; we discovered to our dismay that the cab was just 50 feet away from the Shipping Corporation housing society.
 Once I was reading a book on creative writing, the accomplished author exhorted to write explicitly e.g.Write," Uttam was eating bread and butter."  instead of writing " He was eating."  Being specific is an art. The more one practices, the more proficient he becomes. Be as much specific as possible. The more specific, the more excellent e.g. one may write," Uttam was eating brown bread with Amul butter at 8 A.M. in my house" and so on.