अगर दिल खोलते यारों के साथ

सुना है कि एक हार्ट हॉस्पिटल के ऑपरेशन-कक्ष  पर लिखा था ," अगर दिल खोलते  यारों के साथ तो खुलवाना न पड़ता औजारों के साथ "

एक दिन मैं काफी परेशान था। उसी समय मेरे एक मित्र अपनी समस्या-समाधान हेतु मेरे कक्ष में आये। उनकी बातें धैर्यपुर्वक सुनकर मैंने उन्हें आश्वासन दिया,"कुछ महीनों में मैं आपकी समस्या  सुलझा दूँगा।"
 परन्तु वे अपनी समस्या का शीघ्र समाधान चाह रहे थे, यद्यपि मुझे अविलम्ब कोई हल नजर नहीं आ रहा था।
 मैंने उन्हें समझाने कि पुरजोर कोशिश की, लेकिन दुर्भाग्यवश वे अपनी बात पर अड़े रहे । अंत में मेरा धैर्य जवाब दे गया और मैं उनसे लड़ बैठा।
बाद में मुझे महसूस हुआ कि  अगर मैं परेशान न होता तो शायद मैं धैर्य एवम वाकपटुता के साथ उन्हें इन्तज़ार करने के लिये मना लेता। यदि प्रारम्भ में ही मैं उन्हें अपनी मनःस्थिति के बारे में बता देता तो शायद वे उस दिन अनावश्यक दबाब न देते और अप्रियता टल जाती।  

एक बार मोटरसाइकिल से गिरने के कारण मेरे पाँव के घुटनों में हलकी चोटें आ गईं। मैं घर पर आराम कर रहा था, तभी मेरे मित्र राजीव जी ने फोन किया। मेरी बातों में गर्मजोशी नहीं थी और आवाज भी थकी-थकी थी। उन्होंने अविलंब ताड़ लिया कि मैं परेशान हूँ। मैंने उन्हें दुर्घटना के बारे में बताया तो वे मीठी झिड़की देने लगे," आपने पहले क्यों नहीं बताया ?" पहले पता हो जाता तो मैं आपसे अपने काम के बारे में आज बात नहीं करता।" राजीव जी की सलाह अमल करने लायक है।
  यदि आपकी मनःस्थिति किसी कारणवश  ठीक नहीं हो तो आप अपने दोस्तों और परिवार के सदस्यों को बता दें ताकि वे आपको आराम करने दें  और मानसिक सम्बल दें।  

START SMALL TALKS TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS

Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart. - Henry Clay.

Short talks attract attention of friends,  they strengthen existing friendship and turn new acquaintances into close friends.  Short talks also pre-empt any lull in the conversation.

One needs to ask only friendly questions to make one's friend talk comfortably. There is no place for uncomfortable issues in this friendship development process.

Use a few words of genuine appreciation to please your friend; he will start talking in detail. The more you hear him, the more impressed your friend will become and the friendship becomes more and closer.
Following questions will be helpful in starting small talks.
1. What is your name?
2. How many kids do you have?
3. How are you?
4. How are your children and what are they doing?
5. What is your opinion on this topic?

HOW I MANAGED A NICE SNUB?

Once my junior colleague X got flustered with me and lightly snubbed me; my immediate reaction was to teach him a perfect lesson. But I refrained myself from overreacting.
  After cooling down, I realized'" I am only an average human being out of trillions of people residing on this small earth compared to the vast galaxy.This great universe neither starts from me nor ends with me."
 My colleague X is a nice gentleman; he had supported me on numerous occasions. However, he was nervous and restless on that particular day due to an acute connectivity problem. Naturally, he lost his self-control a little.Therefore I decided to give him moral support. I told my friend Y, who is a very supportive person, to accompany and support X as far as possible.

Next day I called on X in office and asked with affection,” How he is?” I sympathized with him for acute connectivity problem that ground everything to a halt yesterday. He replied with all courtesy and good will.

Earlier I used to make a scene in similar circumstances and tried to teach such persons a lesson so that others dare not misbehave with me. But now there was a paradigm shift that satisfied all concerned. 

My elder brother-in-law used to exclaim, “I became matured at 50, Uttam Jee will attain maturity at 60." I appear to have achieved it at 54 years itself. What a good news! Ha! Ha! Ha!
We don't extract our teeth for biting our tongue; we don't throw our bike if it stops working in the midway. Then why should we sour a good friendship for trivial matters?

BECOME AMBIDEXTROUS

One is either left handed or right handed. The left-handers are guided by their right brains, and the right-handers are guided by their left brains. Thus both left handers and right handers use only 50% of their brain.

One of the founders of United States of America  Mr. Benjamin Franklin was also ambidextrous.

Sachin Tendulkar writes with the left hand but batted and bowled with the right hand. Saurabh Ganguli bowled from the right hand and batted from the left hand. Typists, knitters, musicians, etc. use their both hands with equal ease. I use both hands in my daily chores since I suffer from frozen left shoulder.
 My doctor told me that left frozen shoulder might have resulted from less use of left hand. Moreover using both hands simultaneously increases my efficiency also but I don't bother too much about being ambidextrous and do it in symphony with my psych and soul.

HOW LONG CAN YOU WORK WITHOUT PAYMENT?

Money is the biggest motivator; therefore, the rich as well as poor, hanker after it.
 A porter asks for money just after rendering service. A laborer asks for it at the end of the day. The service class asks for money at the end of the month. The entrepreneur puts all his investments and efforts at stake without getting anything for the months and years altogether, but when his project starts yielding money, he becomes millionaire or billionaire.
 Thomas Edison incessantly worked to invent incandescent lamp for many years; he put all his intelligence and all his time to research like a crazy without getting anything. Although he failed thousands of times, when he succeeded in 1879, he gave us not only a priceless and unique gift but also made his name immortal. As an icing on the cake, he also earned a formidable fortune from his inventions and patents.

 How long and on how many occasions can we work without payment? The more we develop our capability to toil without it, the more name, the more fame and the more money will kiss our feet.
Start acting just now and save as much as possible to develop the capability to work without money. The habit of savings works two ways; it reduces your needs as well as strengthens your financial muscles incredibly.

USE NATURE'S COOLANTS

We take special care to protect working machines from overheating. We use coolant in our cars, bikes, and in our refrigerators, etc. Even we switch off our fans to save them from overheating and resultant damages

The same precaution is required to keep our minds calm and cool.

Greenery and flowers help to keep us poised and relaxed.

 Use natural coolants to achieve this vital goal.
i) Inhale deeply to give your mind lots of oxygen
ii) Drink water often

iii) Talk lightly sometimes to make your colleagues laugh.
iv) Take rests at regular intervals. You may take a short break to walk for a few minutes and also do a little stretching after working for an hour.

These simple tips will help you to keep your mind cool and in a good working condition.

HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH

We can improve our personality by adopting two methods, either by changing our thoughts or by changing our actions.

Recall the famous adage," Show a thought, reap an act; show an act, reap a habit; show a habit, reap a character; show a character, and reap your destiny."

 However, the thought processes are so subtle that one may not have complete control over them. Therefore, the wise exhorted to read good books and interact with optimists.
 But positive thinkers may not always be with us to protect us from the onslaught of negative thoughts.
 Negative thoughts bow our heads down before attacking us.
 Therefore, always hold your head high and keep your chest straight to stop the onslaught of negative thoughts. 
  Hold your head high to stop depressing thoughts.

Hold your head high to prevent absent-mindedness.

Hold your head high and fly in the sky of positivity.

The world has high regards for positive thinking and positive acting persons.


P.S. Holding your head high and chest straight, facilitates good posture, too, and wards off spondylitis, back pain, etc.

ABSENT MINDEDNESS - A CONSTANT THREAT

Once I was servicing my inverter. After finishing the job, I absentmindedly put the plug of the inverter into its power socket instead of putting the plug into the electric socket. When I put the inverter on, there was a kit-kit sound. I switched it off immediately.

Absent-mindedness continues to ride on our shoulders all the time. As soon as we go off guard, it blurs our eyes and highjacks our mind. So we need to be vigilant all the time to save ourselves from its mischief. Here are some time-tested ways to fight absent-mindedness.

1. Take enough rest and sleep.

2. Practice inhaling deeply.

3. Decide a place for putting a thing.
 http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2013/02/order-is-heavens-first-rule.html

4. Write things down. Maintain a to-do list in black and white.
 http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2014/01/increase-your-efficiency-and.html

5. When you are introduced to a new person, repeat his name time and again.
http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2014/04/sharpen-your-memory.html

6. Associate names with some peculiarity of a face.

7. Always keep in mind that absent-mindedness is riding on your shoulders all the time. It will blur your eyes and highjack your mind, as soon as you go off guard.

TREAT EVERY DAY NEW YEAR DAY.

WITH THE NEW DAY COMES NEW STRENGTH & NEW THOUGHTS

                            ---- ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.

One of my best friends took following dig on the New Year,"

Don't get much excited; only the calendar has changed, your wife and job are the same."

 Some of us take new resolutions on the New Year. However, many of them never materialize, since we break them soon and wait for another new year to make new ones.

 Welcome, every day as a New Year day. Greet people enthusiastically every day.  Put your best every day. Make new resolutions every day and work wholeheartedly for their materialization.

  Don't get discouraged,  if some of your resolutions don't materialize;
 make new ones promptly.
 Every day is unique; make every day as exciting as a New Year day.
 Every day is a blessing bestowed upon us by Almighty. Treat yourself fortunate since you are enjoying funs and excitements of today. Many of us were not so blessed and breathed their last yesternight.
 We don't know about tomorrow; neither have we any control over it.
 Enjoy and exploit every moment of today. Well utilized today will make your past glorious and your tomorrows safe. 

HOW I SAY " NO " SMOOTHLY.

I have to deal with lots of persons daily. I can't tell “YES " to all of them. So I have devised my own ways to say " NO" with as less heartburn as possible. I use “KIS "( Keep it simple.) formula in the process.  

Step No. 1. I welcome every person with a charming smile as well as empathy and  invite him to sit comfortably and listen to his problem attentively. (The visitor feels honored)

Step No. 2. If his request is worth conceding, I get his work done then and there. (Thus I earn the reputation of getting right things done fast without any hiccups.) If I can't comply with the valid request of the person immediately, I ask for time and ensure doing his work within proposed time.

Step No. 3. If the demand of the person is not genuine, I tell him frankly and politely about my inability to concede the demand and explain the reasons for it. I also clarify that instead of telling" No” now, I could have given him false promises. But this would have just been a waste of time for him. He becomes a little disappointed but finally agrees that it is better to tell "NO" in the first instance than lingering it for a long time unnecessarily.
Step No. 4. However, some of them are adamant and unnecessarily insist upon getting their demands complied. I ask for time to consult my seniors. Later on, I tell "NO" on the phone.
Step No. 5. Sometimes the demand of the visitor is genuine, but I am unable to help him. I convey my feelings to him and also assure him that I shall do whatever I can to help the just cause.

I guarantee the visitor in all the above situations that though I am telling him "NO" in this particular case yet, I shall always be ready to help him in some other problem, if possible, in future. I also ensure to bid goodbye in a friendly way. 

USURP YOUR OPPONENT'S HALF POWER

 The story of Vali, in Ramayan, intrigued and fascinated me. Vali, the mighty king of monkeys, had got a unique boon.; any person, who dared to fight with Vali, lost half his strength to Vali. I was in search of such formula from very childhood. There is a famous proverb" Where there is will, there is a way." So eventually I got the formula.The method is very straightforward and uncomplicated.

 Avoid fights as much as possible, however, if it becomes inevitable, fight for the right causes only.

Lord Shri Krishna tried his best to avoid the devastating war of Mahabharat. He begged Duryodhana to give only five villages to the Pandavas. But the Kauravas remained adamant, the war finally started but the great warriors and stalwarts like Bhishma Pitamah, Dronacharya, etc., took part in the war reluctantly and explained they were fighting against Pandavas because they were bound by Raj dharma. Thus Lord Shri Krishna destroyed the half force of Kauravas before the start of war.

Moreover, everyone has his conscience which tells him what is right or what is wrong. If you manage things shrewdly and convince the opponent that he is following a wrong path, he may admit his mistake and make a truce. The English finally acknowledged that the days of colonialism are gone, and they decided to free India. The Gandhi and other nationalist leaders won without shedding any blood.

But if your opponent is stubborn like Hitler, he and his army will fight half-heartedly and will finally lose the battle.
Since you will be fighting with your team for right causes,  the indomitable enthusiasm of your team will double your power.