HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH

We can improve our personality by adopting two methods, either by changing our thoughts or by changing our actions.

Recall the famous adage," Show a thought, reap an act; show an act, reap a habit; show a habit, reap a character; show a character, and reap your destiny."

 However, the thought processes are so subtle that one may not have complete control over them. Therefore, the wise exhorted to read good books and interact with optimists.
 But positive thinkers may not always be with us to protect us from the onslaught of negative thoughts.
 Negative thoughts bow our heads down before attacking us.
 Therefore, always hold your head high and keep your chest straight to stop the onslaught of negative thoughts. 
  Hold your head high to stop depressing thoughts.

Hold your head high to prevent absent-mindedness.

Hold your head high and fly in the sky of positivity.

The world has high regards for positive thinking and positive acting persons.


P.S. Holding your head high and chest straight, facilitates good posture, too, and wards off spondylitis, back pain, etc.

ABSENT MINDEDNESS - A CONSTANT THREAT

Once I was servicing my inverter. After finishing the job, I absentmindedly put the plug of the inverter into its power socket instead of putting the plug into the electric socket. When I put the inverter on, there was a kit-kit sound. I switched it off immediately.

Absent-mindedness continues to ride on our shoulders all the time. As soon as we go off guard, it blurs our eyes and highjacks our mind. So we need to be vigilant all the time to save ourselves from its mischief. Here are some time-tested ways to fight absent-mindedness.

1. Take enough rest and sleep.

2. Practice inhaling deeply.

3. Decide a place for putting a thing.
 http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2013/02/order-is-heavens-first-rule.html

4. Write things down. Maintain a to-do list in black and white.
 http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2014/01/increase-your-efficiency-and.html

5. When you are introduced to a new person, repeat his name time and again.
http://truedreams19000.blogspot.in/2014/04/sharpen-your-memory.html

6. Associate names with some peculiarity of a face.

7. Always keep in mind that absent-mindedness is riding on your shoulders all the time. It will blur your eyes and highjack your mind, as soon as you go off guard.

TREAT EVERY DAY NEW YEAR DAY.

WITH THE NEW DAY COMES NEW STRENGTH & NEW THOUGHTS

                            ---- ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.

One of my best friends took following dig on the New Year,"

Don't get much excited; only the calendar has changed, your wife and job are the same."

 Some of us take new resolutions on the New Year. However, many of them never materialize, since we break them soon and wait for another new year to make new ones.

 Welcome, every day as a New Year day. Greet people enthusiastically every day.  Put your best every day. Make new resolutions every day and work wholeheartedly for their materialization.

  Don't get discouraged,  if some of your resolutions don't materialize;
 make new ones promptly.
 Every day is unique; make every day as exciting as a New Year day.
 Every day is a blessing bestowed upon us by Almighty. Treat yourself fortunate since you are enjoying funs and excitements of today. Many of us were not so blessed and breathed their last yesternight.
 We don't know about tomorrow; neither have we any control over it.
 Enjoy and exploit every moment of today. Well utilized today will make your past glorious and your tomorrows safe. 

HOW I SAY " NO " SMOOTHLY.

I have to deal with lots of persons daily. I can't tell “YES " to all of them. So I have devised my own ways to say " NO" with as less heartburn as possible. I use “KIS "( Keep it simple.) formula in the process.  

Step No. 1. I welcome every person with a charming smile as well as empathy and  invite him to sit comfortably and listen to his problem attentively. (The visitor feels honored)

Step No. 2. If his request is worth conceding, I get his work done then and there. (Thus I earn the reputation of getting right things done fast without any hiccups.) If I can't comply with the valid request of the person immediately, I ask for time and ensure doing his work within proposed time.

Step No. 3. If the demand of the person is not genuine, I tell him frankly and politely about my inability to concede the demand and explain the reasons for it. I also clarify that instead of telling" No” now, I could have given him false promises. But this would have just been a waste of time for him. He becomes a little disappointed but finally agrees that it is better to tell "NO" in the first instance than lingering it for a long time unnecessarily.
Step No. 4. However, some of them are adamant and unnecessarily insist upon getting their demands complied. I ask for time to consult my seniors. Later on, I tell "NO" on the phone.
Step No. 5. Sometimes the demand of the visitor is genuine, but I am unable to help him. I convey my feelings to him and also assure him that I shall do whatever I can to help the just cause.

I guarantee the visitor in all the above situations that though I am telling him "NO" in this particular case yet, I shall always be ready to help him in some other problem, if possible, in future. I also ensure to bid goodbye in a friendly way. 

USURP YOUR OPPONENT'S HALF POWER

 The story of Vali, in Ramayan, intrigued and fascinated me. Vali, the mighty king of monkeys, had got a unique boon.; any person, who dared to fight with Vali, lost half his strength to Vali. I was in search of such formula from very childhood. There is a famous proverb" Where there is will, there is a way." So eventually I got the formula.The method is very straightforward and uncomplicated.

 Avoid fights as much as possible, however, if it becomes inevitable, fight for the right causes only.

Lord Shri Krishna tried his best to avoid the devastating war of Mahabharat. He begged Duryodhana to give only five villages to the Pandavas. But the Kauravas remained adamant, the war finally started but the great warriors and stalwarts like Bhishma Pitamah, Dronacharya, etc., took part in the war reluctantly and explained they were fighting against Pandavas because they were bound by Raj dharma. Thus Lord Shri Krishna destroyed the half force of Kauravas before the start of war.

Moreover, everyone has his conscience which tells him what is right or what is wrong. If you manage things shrewdly and convince the opponent that he is following a wrong path, he may admit his mistake and make a truce. The English finally acknowledged that the days of colonialism are gone, and they decided to free India. The Gandhi and other nationalist leaders won without shedding any blood.

But if your opponent is stubborn like Hitler, he and his army will fight half-heartedly and will finally lose the battle.
Since you will be fighting with your team for right causes,  the indomitable enthusiasm of your team will double your power.

अपने काम से काम रखिये।

कुछ  करने  की  इच्छा  रखने  वाले  व्यक्ति  के  लिए  इस  दुनिया  में  कुछ  भी  असंभव  नहीं  है  । 

अब्राहम  लिंकन । 

 जून 1989 में सबेरे 8 बजे मैं अपने मित्र श्री राम किशोर सिंह के  आवास पर एक आवश्यक कार्य-वश गया। उन्होंने सस्नेह मुझे बैठाकर चाय-नाश्ता कराया। मैं शिष्टाचारवश  उनका कुशल-क्षेम पूछने लगा। उन्होंने भी उत्सुकता से मेरे आने का कारण पूछा। मैंने बताया, "बस आपका हाल-चाल जानने आ गया हूँ।" इस पर  रामकिशोर बाबू  खुलकर हँसते हुए बोले, "उत्तम जी, आप अकारण अपनी गर्दन भी नहीं हिलाते हैं। " 

उनकी बात पर मैं भी अपनी हँसी रोक नहीं पाया। मैंने उन्हें अपने आने का सही उद्देश्य बताया। उन्होंने भी अविलम्ब मेरा काम कर दिया। 

मैं अपने अनेक  दोस्तों को व्यस्त पाता हूँ। वे कहते हैं, "मैं  काम में पूरी तरह से संलग्न हूँ। मैं पूछता हूँ, "क्या आप अपने काम में व्यस्त हैं या फिर दिल लगाने के लिए जो भी सामने है, उसे करते जा रहे हैं ?

 मेरा  प्रश्न सुनकर कई मित्र बगलें झाँकने लगते हैं। अंग्रेजी में एक कहावत भी है ," Busy for Nothing.".

कुछ  लोग तो " आये  थे  हरिभजन  को  ओटन  लागे  कपास " वाली  कहावत  चरितार्थ  कर  देते  हैं  अर्थात  जिस लक्ष्य  को  ध्यान  में  रखकर  कार्य  का शुभारम्भ करते  हैं, बाद  में  उसे  ही  मस्तिष्क से विस्मृत कर देते हैं। 

अनेक लोग कठोर परिश्र्म करके भी सफलता से कोसों दूर रह जाते हैं क्योंकि उनकी दृष्टि महान अर्जुन की तरह चिड़िया की आँख पर केंद्रित नहीं रहती हैं।

अतः अपने कार्यालय में कोई भी काम करने के पहले अपने आप से पूछें कि क्या यह काम आपके जॉब प्रोफाइल के अंतर्गत है और क्या इसे करने से आपके उच्चाधिकारियों की कानून सम्मत अपेच्छाएं पूरी होंगी ? यदि जवाब "हाँ" हो तभी वह काम करें। अपने जीवन में कोई काम करने से पहले सोचें कि क्या यह कार्य आपको अपने जीवन के लक्ष्यों की ओर ले जायेगा ? यदि उत्तर नकारात्मक हो तो कृपया ऐसे कार्य को दूर से ही अलविदा कह दें।

रेलगाड़ी की तरह पटरी पर लगातार अपने लक्ष्यों की ओर चलते रहें। रास्ते में घना कोहरा आ सकता है या फिर आँधी आ सकती है। परिणामस्वरूप आपको अपनी गति धीमी करनी पड़ सकती है , लेकिन अपने लक्ष्यों की ओर दृढ़ता के साथ बढ़ते रहें। अनुकूल परिस्थितियों में गति तेज कर दें, प्रतिकूल परिस्थितियों में गति धीमी कर दें, लेकिन  निशाना वीर अर्जुन की तरह  हमेशा अपने लक्ष्यों पर  रखें। एक दिन सफलता अवश्य ही आपके क़दमों को चूमेगी।  

DEVELOP ENOUGH COAXING SKILLS

We are neither Almighty nor super powers but, frail human beings. Others will not be standing on their toes to comply with our wishes. Neither will we be in a position to punish or purchase those who defy us. Avoidable fights, if not avoided tactfully, will consume all our energy and mental peace unnecessarily. Therefore we need to develop enough coaxing skills.

Even Lord Shri Krishna first coaxed Kauravas to give only five villages to  Pandavas and avoid the impending bloodshed. Yudhishthira had to announce the war after point blank refusal of Duryodhana to do so.

 When Arjun refused to kill his nears and dears in the war, Shri Krishna again used tremendous coaxing skills to persuade Arjun to fight the Dharmyudh against the evil. 
The great politicians and statesmen are skilled enough to coax their opponents to toe their lines.
It is high time that we hone our coaxing skills.

DEVELOP CONCENTRATION OF MIND IN A FUNNY WAY

Meditation is the focusing of the mind on some object. If the mind acquires concentration on one object, it can be so concentrated on any object whatsoever.          SWAMI VIVEKANAND.

When we talk of the concentration of mind, some of us get bogged down. However, we may develop a concentration in funny ways also.

Have you observed a group of people? Some of them spontaneously smile, some become gloomy. Their facial expression changes according to the thoughts coming into their mind. We may consciously modify the process.

My one colleague Mr. X always remained upset. This affected the performance of my department also. Once I invited Mr. X to have a cup of tea with me. I asked him politely about the reasons for his being severely upset.

He started telling me about all the unfortunate things that had happened in his life. I heard him patiently. When he got exhausted, I asked him to recall a recent event that made him happy. First, he could find none. But on my persistent, friendly goading, he related a happy event.
 Recently his brother-in-law presented a bicycle to his daughter. His daughter was euphoric along with his son. On seeing both the offspring elated he also became happy. His wife prepared delicious dinner consisting of chicken curry, fried rice, and other mouth-watering dishes. His whole family enjoyed the yummy meal along with the children,s Mama jee. 
Now I asked," How are you feeling?" He accepted with hesitation that he was feeling fine."

Therefore, the formula for getting happy instantly is simple.

 Recall any happy event of your life. Practice concentrating on that happy event only. You will enjoy the whole experience tremendously. Initially, it will be difficult to focus on even a happy event, but you may master the art with practice.

 While discussing a problem with friends, adopt the same technique. First, resolve one issue, and then present another problem. The productivity of your department will improve drastically with concentrated efforts.

Try discussing happy moments spent together with your friends and relatives. This will enhance happiness in the relationship along with concentration.

BEWARE SWINDLERS ARE ROAMING EVERYWHERE.

Use all your six senses to cope with challenges thrown by swindlers.

My grandma used to tell stories about thugs and crooks. Those villains used to have big mustaches and terrible faces. But, in real life, they look like normal human beings. They look friendly but will deceive you, as soon as you go off guard. There are many rackets where they swindle people as part of organized profession.

Medicine companies are one of the best examples. Same drugs are sold by the companies on huge price differences ranging from 100% to 300% or more. I wonder how the government allows this. The height of irony is that the affordable medicines marketed by the reputed companies are not available at all places.

Online swindlers ask debit card numbers and passwords by impersonating themselves as bank staff and siphon off all the money by making online purchases. They give their address to the online marketing companies for shipment of goods even then our efficient Police is unable to catch them, and the racket is going on unabated. 

One can be duped at innocuous places also. Recently I went to get petrol from a well-known petrol pump and asked for 5 litres. The innocent looking petrol pump operator suggested me politely to get the tank filled completely. As soon as the tank became full, he reset the meter within a nanosecond. He claimed 595 bucks. I protested that I did not see the meter. But I didn't want to make a scene for some small amount he might have swindled. Moreover, there was a long queue behind me, so I paid silently. When I related the story to my colleagues, they told that the petrol pump operators dupe as soon as somebody goes off guard.

Therefore train your five senses of smelling, hearing, looking, touching and tasting to cope with the challenge. The sixth sense or the intuition of the attentive persons  also strengthens automatically.

DON'T TAKE DECISIONS IN NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

 Beware, negative emotions are more dangerous than the opium.

 Transactional Analysis theory states,"Our mind consists of 3 ego states. The CHILD, PARENT, nd ADULT.

(1) The CHILD- Some childlike and childish qualities become part and parcel of our personalities.

(2) The PARENT- Our parent figures continuously give instructions. We promptly comply with most of them. This is why many irrelevant traditions are carried  from genaration to generation.

(3) The ADULT- As we grow up, we start thinking rationally discard most of childish qualities. We also question many parents’ instructions. For example Sati System was being carried from generation to generation. People even did not question it’s propriety and mercilessly burnt the widows alive as they learnt it from their ancestors.
 Thus they were under the influence of PARENT ego state. Raja Ram Mohan Rai, in his ADULT ego state, questioned its propriety and fought to make the Sati System illegal.

Our ADULT ego state gets decommissioned when we are in any emotion i.e. either in love, hate, anger, depression, fear, greed, over enthusiasm etc. We may harm ourselves and others in negative emotions. So the best course of action will be to avoid any action in  emotions.We must wait for emotions to calm down. In the mean time we may talk with our close friends to take their advice, enjoy music, movies etc. Taking long and deep breaths also calms down emotions. 

Fraudsters raise emotions of  confidence, greed or fear before duping us. Hitler gave emotional speeches to make people mad of hatred.

A smoke detector warns us as soon as it detects smoke. Similarly we must continuously monitor the thoughts in our mind and take preventive measures when negative emotions trap us.
 Too much positive emotions such as over confidence, over enthusiasm, craziness in love etc are worse than negative emotions.   

UNDERREACT, IT IS GOOD FOR OUR HEALTH.

If we control our reactions in the short-term, we don't have to live with the 'reaction regret' in the long term.
--- Lysa Terkeurst.
I along with my family members visited Nainital in 2009. The boat ride in Nainital Lake was magnificent. Next day we left by car for Kaushani and Ranikhet. The whole journey was abundant with breath taking scenery. After enjoying every second there for three days, we reached Kathgodam Railway Station for going to Goa.
 Unfortunately, I lost my temper with the kids on a trivial matter. That incident hurt my better half.Consequently, we couldn't relish our first day in Goa.

I honestly confess that the tendency to overreact overpowers me sometimes even now. Therefore during vulnerable periods, I repeat the slogan "Underreact." "Underreact." continuously and forcefully while taking many long and deep breaths. This activity checks the overreaction in its womb and keeps my mental as well as physical health in good condition.

Although old habits are die hard, yet I appear to have mastered the art of underreaction. During my posting at Motihari, my colleague Anil Jee once remarked," Send an angry man to Manager Sahab (me), the aggrieved speaks nonstop, and Manager Sahab will be looking at his face and listening silently. The poor fellow will calm down in no time."

 I don’t only hear complaints of annoyed persons patiently while looking intently at their face but also invite them to sit down and get their legitimate work done at the earliest. The displeased leave my chamber with smiling faces and also become my well-wishers.