THE BEST ANTIDOTE TO CONFUSION

 Different emotions like love, friendship, hatred, etc., control human beings at different times. 
According to the great psychiatrist and Transaction Analyst Eric Berne, our personality consists of Parent, Adult, and Child ego states. Many a time we are controlled by Child ego state. We enjoy childlike activities. When we are controlled by Parent ego state, we repent for some of the acts done by us in Child ego state. Sometimes we are in Adult ego state and take rational decisions with an open mind.

Our mind is a best audio-video recorder. It continuously records everything, we see or hear. During our childhood, our different parent figures give us different instructions such as

Work Hard.

Never touch wine.

The profession of Business is right.

The occupation of Service is good. 

Honesty is the best policy. etc.,

Our mind remembers these instructions. The tapes reproduce Parent figure's instructions at appropriate times. Often our different parent figures give us conflicting instructions. So our brain reproduces conflicting voices creating confusion. Our father might have taught us to be courageous and take a risk. Our mother might have taught us not to put ourselves in trouble. The Child in us might be wanting to enjoy life at some parent figure cost. So when we want to start some big project. We would like to be courageous like our father at the moment. At another moment we would be afraid and shun taking any risk as taught by our mother. The teachings of other parent figures such as grandparents, uncles, teachers, etc., may also come to our mind. Yet at another moment we may think our parents have left a significant legacy so we should enjoy life like a Child. So different thoughts come to our mind, and we become confused.

The best antidote to the confusion is to write all our thoughts on paper & rationally decide which thought best suits us. We may also take the help of our friends in Adult ego state in making right decisions. Once a decision is taken after doing due diligence, we must stick to our decision through thick & thin. We must realize at this juncture that no decision can be perfect but if we stick to a well thought rational decision, results will always be above par & there will be no room for confusion too.

MAKE PLANS TIMEBOUND

My friends often tell me about their big plans, but they have no time frame to execute their cherished plans.
 An age old proverb says, "Any time means no time." So most of their plans are never executed. 

If one is serious about making one's plans successful, he must ensure to work daily and consistently to achieve his goals. He must also create a roadmap with time tags attached to it & work hard to travel on the road to success. Only then it can be called plan. Otherwise, it will be called nothing but daydream.

"TimeBound." is one of the passwords made by my son Adwitiya to imbibe upon his subconscious mind indelibly about the necessity of time-bound plans

KEEP AWAY FROM ALLURING DISCOUNT SALES

 I often solved following kind of questions in my student life.

 A trader purchased a shirt for eighty rupees. What price tag will he put on the shirt to earn 25% profit after giving 50% discount?

Discount sales are often organized to bluff us. A large number of companies and shops offer discounts round the year to offload old goods. We often buy things prematurely and in bulk after getting caught in alluring discount sales.
 These purchases upset our budget.

A car salesman approaches a potential customer and informs him with urgency," Sir, our car manufacturing company is giving massive discount this December. Don't miss this great opportunity." Many prospective customers jump on the bandwagon without giving a second thought.
  To take advantage of so-called discount sales, we often buy four trousers instead of one. This purchase upsets our whole month budget. 
Many times we visit a fixed price shop and discover that goods, being sold there, are cheaper than the cost offered in discount sales after giving a hefty discount.

Please ponder, which businessman will be so much benevolent to give actual huge discounts on his merchandise. If he does it in the real sense, will he survive financially?
 Don't purchase even dirt cheap commodities in discount sales, if you don't require it shortly, any money spent on a useless thing is a pure waste.

USE ALL RESOURCES SKILLFULLY

For remembering something, use all your senses; touch it; look at it and read it. Write it, Repeat it loudly. Share it with others. I can bet that you will not forget it for a long time.

The person, who uses all his resources skillfully, becomes super successful.

Our mind has a vast capacity. Even great scientists use a small portion of it. Attempt to use mind's big part.

Let's us spare a few minutes daily to plan how we can use all our resources such as our time, our manpower, our money, our other resources skillfully & optimally for doing important tasks.

THE HIGHJACKER TOOL BAR

On the 27th October I was trying to free download latest version of Java from the internet.  I searched it on the Google and started to download Java from an unknown site. After completion of the download, I clicked on the Google Chrome. To my utter amazement, I saw one unknown toolbar & search engine on the screen. I became horrified after seeing the following message at the bottom of the screen.

Your computer will crash in a few minutes. Please click on OK to fix the problem.

First I decided impulsively to click OK. But I decided against it within fractions of second since the message looked unusual & ominous. I searched Google again restlessly and found that actually one highjacker toolbar was somehow downloaded in my computer while free downloading Java from an unofficial site. This nasty toolbar was trying to divert me to some malicious site. I was very puzzled. I racked my brain to find a solution and opened control panel to uninstall the programme. But I found it very difficult to uninstall it. I shut down the computer and restarted it. After that I could uninstall the devious highjacker toolbar.

 I again clicked on the Google Chrome Icon and found to my dismay that the nasty highjacker toolbar and search engine was present even now. So I decided to fully scan my computer with the antivirus already installed in my computer.  One spyware was also detected.  The antivirus cleaned the spyware.  I uninstalled Google Chrome also. After that I downloaded Java from www. java.com and re-downloaded Google Chrome afresh from official site.

  The problem was finally solved. Then I took a vow that I will never download any software from an unofficial site. 

THE MAGICAL REPETITION KILLED MY BAD HABIT

Once I wrote a beautiful article, "EXPLOIT THE MAGICAL EFFECTS OF REPETITION."

I put the theory into practice to forsake Pan chewing.

 I made a slogan, "Avoid Pan & Brush every night to live 100 years healthy, hearty & wealthy." I didn't force myself too much to give up this dirty habit. I just used to repeat the slogan with full force.

  Soon, I became indifferent to Pan chewing. I restricted it to once a day.  Gradually I began to dislike Pan Chewing.

Earlier I used to take Pan when I was very tense or jubilant. Now whenever I feel nervous, I take five long deep breaths to relax. When I feel euphoric, I celebrate with something else.

 There was a significant obstacle; a good number of my friends take Pan, therefore, it is etiquette to offer them, Pan.

 They often insisted upon me to take Pan. I replied them politely, "I take only one Pan daily, and my quota stands exhausted for today."

"Just for now." syndrome was also the biggest obstacle in my mission.

 Earlier I used to assure myself that I shall take one Pan just now and after that, I shall never touch it in my entire life. But, Alas! Again and again, I fell prey to "Just for now" syndrome.

 Now I remind myself, “The chain of vice will become more strong if I succumb to the temptation of taking a Pan just for now, and the desire to take Pan will weaken  if I kill the temptation in no time.” Benjamin Franklin rightly said," It is easier to suppress the first desire than to fulfill all those follow it."

I also shared the whole story with my canteen boy and other staff who used to take Pan for me. Now I can’t afford to belittle myself before them by ordering Pan.

However, I assiduously avoided telling my Pan Chewing friends about my plan to give up Pan. They would have certainly discouraged me. So, Pan free days are going smoothly. I have not taken any Pan since two years and eleven months. However, I offered Pan to those friends who liked it. Now I offer them cardamom or clove bud.

My one friend was immensely impressed with my story of forsaking Pan. He also tried half-heartedly to give up this nasty habit but could not succeed due to lack of a well-charted plan and 100% commitment.

GOD HELP THOSE WHO HELP OTHERS

He that does good to another, does good also to himself, not only in the consequences but in the act; for the consciousness of well-doing is, in itself, ample reward - SENECA 

 The great poem, Abou Ben Adhem, written by James Henry Leigh Hunt decades ago, is relevant even now. It exhorts, "God loves those who love and help his children."
After reading the poem in my high school, I decided to help anybody who approaches me for any work. This system helped me a lot; I was often supported by unknown & unexpected sources whenever I was in trouble.

 My good friend Shri Anil Kumar was in Muzaffarpur on the 7th August 2013. He had some work at the University Police Station. I telephoned him in the morning and offered to help since I knew the SHO of the police station.
 I always crossed the University P.S. twice daily.  That day I reflexively looked at its entrance gate. I became overjoyed to see my stolen bike parked there. I entered into the P.S. and knew that my bike was recovered by the police more than one month ago and was unclaimed since then. But, I knew about it only after I offered to help my friend.

  I was returning from Patna by car in 2005. Satpura railway crossing was closed. As soon as the gateman opened it, a massive traffic rushed forward. A teenager, at once, came driving his scooter fast and dashed against my car. He fell in the nearby muddy ditch with his bike.

 I immediately jumped from my car and dragged him.  His vehicle was invisible in the ditch. I was apprehending that he would blame me for the mishap. I put my right hand on his shoulder and asked coolly," Son, are you O.K?" The teenager started shouting," Uncle, it was not your fault."
 In the meanwhile, a crowd began gathering. One tough looking young man came near me and whispered into my ear, "Sir, what are you doing here? Please start your car and go away."  I complied with his advice immediately & ran away silently.

 Dale Carnegie, in his best-selling book 'How To Stop Worrying & Start Living' advocated,"One can get rid of depression by exploring the ways and means to help others." 
All the great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Jawahar Lal Nehru, Atal Bihar Vajpayee became great because they always strived to help and support others. They did their best to help masses to get rid of their hardships.

Will it not be an excellent idea to resolve every day to bring a beaming smile on at least one face?

TAKE SUITABLE REMEDIAL STEPS ON THE FIRST DANGER SIGNAL.

A small leak will sink a great ship.

--- Benjamin Franklin.

 Sage Dhaumya had a disciple named Aruni who stayed in the Gurukul. Once Aruni was crossing a nearby field of Gurukul and observed that a substantial amount of water was sipping from the field's embankment, he desperately tried to stop the flowing water with mud and wooden logs but couldn't succeed. Finally, he lay down on the broken embankment, the sipping of water stopped immediately. Later on, the sage Dhaumya and his disciples came to the crisis point and repaired the broken dam.

One must be continuously looking for small danger signals to stop mind boggling damages.

 A small tumour ignored initially converts itself into life-threatening cancer and gives great agonizing pain. A wisp of smoke, when ignored, turns into a ravaging fire. A little increase in cholesterol, if not controlled, blocks the arteries and causes a heart attack.

 Train your eyes to identify first danger signals which are usually very small. Take immediate remedial steps to neutralize the ominous signal. You will save yourself and others from many devastating damages.

MAKING PLANS & EXECUTING THEM IS NATURAL & EASY

Mr. M. R. Kopmeyer was the president of eight corporations. Now he is retired and success counsellor of more than one hundred companies. He advocated in one of his books,” If you want to master something, please imagine that doing it is natural & easy.”

 So I always assume that making plans & executing them is natural & easy. 
Actually, we continue to make and execute plans all our life.

 What do we while getting out from our house? We plan to go to the office to earn our lively hood. We plan to put our children in school. They plan to get best marks in their exams for getting good jobs. We plan to build houses, get promoted and do a lot of other things. We invariably get what we plan. 

 Let's spare a little time for doing

Conscious planning and work diligently for its timely execution.   

EUPHORIA TAKES ITS TOLL

Euphoria is an intense feeling of happiness.
The wise exhort,"Excess of everything is bad." Therefore, an excess of happiness, too, is not an exception.

 My cousin, Shri Uday Narayan Sinha, Advocate, is a lean and thin old man. Once he got a breakthrough in a tricky consumer forum case, therefore his happiness knew no bounds.
 While walking on the foot that day, he lost his balance in one of the dreaded potholes and fell down. His lips & front teeth were badly damaged. His family members immediately rushed him to Shri A.K.Das, a reputed surgeon. Shri Das put more than ten stitches to fix the wounds and advised him bed rest for one week.

I become extra cautious, whenever I am too happy, and try to become normal at earliest. In the meanwhile, I continuously remind me that   I am vulnerable to mistakes in the euphoric state.

One can't avoid euphoria completely. But an identified enemy becomes less dangerous.

BURN ALL THE ROTTEN THOUGHTS

 We cremate the dead bodies of our nears and dears promptly after their demise to avoid rotting and stinking. 
But unfortunately, we keep old rotting thoughts close to our hearts and permit their nauseating stench making our lives hell.

Our mind learns to react reflexively in a particular way to a given situation.

 I was a naughty child. So my mother often complained my father about my mischiefs. Sometimes my dad thrashed me black & blue. Therefore, whenever I made a mischief, my mother warned wryly, let your dad come. Now I started guessing what my dad would do. The imagination ran wild regarding dangerous things. 

Now, father figure has notionally changed. But even now when I rationally decide to do a daring act, my imagination starts running wild, how the present controlling characters will react. So to overpower the bad thoughts of childhood, I repeat continuously," Burn all the rotten thoughts." I found after analyzing my mind that I have been a slave to many wicked thoughts.
 I was frail in my childhood, so I used to tell school bullies," Ham apnee azadee ko hargeej mita sakte naheen, sar kata sakte hain, par sar jhuka sakte nahin( I shall rather get my head chopped off to maintain my freedom.
Once a veteran war general said, " He loves his enemies, so he always sends them quickly to heaven." This was a new thought.
 However, these things only have symbolic meaning in our lives. The first thought implies that I shall incur any loss to ensure my freedom. The second idea means that I shall make my opponents sustain the maximum damage if enmity becomes inevitable. However, we are firm believers in Win-Win theory.

A few days ago, I drove away evil thoughts by using simple methods. When I awoke, I felt,"Nothing was going right." I was deeply frustrated. I recalled,"Last night I was very satisfied with all the affairs of my life. I was euphoric while going to bed."
 I wondered what happened during my sleep.  I left the bed and found that I forgot to open some windows. So obviously there was a shortage of Oxygen in the room. I opened all the windows and started to repeat motivational slogans, took a few glasses of water and went in the veranda to start cycling on the exercycle. After half an hour I was again to the best of my moods.

 Analyze and identify your bad thoughts, bid them goodbye and cremate them at earliest with all regard. You will find a new you marching rapidly towards your cherished dreams.